Oye Hoye Kudiyaan JMC Diyan

Jesus And Mary College. The college hundreds would kill to be a part of. But have you ever wondered what lies beyond that golden gate? What being a part of this prestigious student body truly feels like? As a part of the college, I guarantee nothing you have heard has done us justice. Step across those gates of hopes and dreams and lo and behold, what do you find? Ladkiyan, ladkiyan and wait for it, some more ladkiyan. JMC truly broadens your horizons...in your study of womanhood.

Classroom scene:

Everyone (in unison): Goodmorrrning ma'am

The teacher: Okay 'GIRLS' please take out your books

The 'GIRLS': Yeh kahaa agaye humm (8)

A year into college and it seems like you have progressed to the next echelon of femininity. This gyaan allows you to distinguish one female species from another in just a glance. So without further adieu, let me introduce you to the variety of kudiyan JMC has to offer:

1. The sports students

These are the girls everyone in college is envious of. They have the liberty to waltz into class a few minutes before the period ends and demand attendance. Meanwhile, the rest of us struggle to make it through those torturous 55 minute classes for our second of glory when we yell out 'present ma'am.'

2. Gucci di ainak lave, Prada di jeans pave

Being prim and proper and branded from head to toe is the forte of these JMC-ites. It could be snowing, there could be an avalanche or it could be 6.30 in the morning, no matter what, these girls never disappoint. You will always see them done up in their very best, anything less, then ring out the sirens, the fashion police has to be alerted.

3. The crackberrys

They come to college but aren't really there, they sit in class but haven't heard a word throughout, you see them amble down the corridor unaware of where they are heading and who they are bumping into on the way. They are lost in that 4X2 inch device which seems to be surgically attached to their arms. Intrigued as to what keeps them that engrossed? It's their freeway access to get minute by minute updates about their jaani’s whereabouts.

4. The shutterbugs/Facebook addicts

This group of girls can be easily spotted from a distance. How? Search for a group of yappy, high pitched girls and amongst them you shall unearth one armed with a camera taking either so called 'candid' photos of the group or a self portrait. 'Sirf like mat karna, comment bhi karna okay?'

5. The blasé lot

As the title suggests, this specimen's last priority is their appearance and they put our Gucci-Prada girls to shame. They roll out of bed and enter class precisely 15 minutes late everyday in the clothes they slept in. With unruly hair, the last row is their niche where they appear to be perpetually zoned out.

6. JMC's very own Gossip Girls

They wait around, alert as a hawk for someone's, anyone's life to take a dramatic turn. Masala- their daily dose of caffeine which keeps them going.

7. Chee! Look at her. Eww.

They could be anywhere, next to you in the canteen, secretly eyeing you in class or behind a tree with a pair of binoculars. Their job is to critically analyze every girl who walks by, her shoes, her accent, her hair, anything and everything!

8. The challengers

This group does not fail to challenge any point raised in class. Like the doomed spaceship, till the going is good, its smooth sailing, the minute something goes wrong they explode and transform into something unrecognizable.